Family Portrait!

It's a 15 passenger van but it got cut off in the picture. It's 262 cubic feet inside.

Van Goddesses, human and animal.

Learning how to ride a 1968 motorcycle.

Gemini woman will shower you with little yet interesting things. Her sentimental gestures and charm will keep the relationship alive. Her displays of affection will keep fire in the romance. She’s not your typical woman. She’ll change her moods faster than anyone can. She’ll go from miss happy go lucky to a total wreck and then turn around and engage in intellectual conversation. She’ll charm you with her qualities but will never feel dependent on you. She will never bore you, but she will delight and amuse you most of the time.

Gemini woman will have that need to wander, to seek out the company of others but that mustn’t be construed as infidelity. Don’t try to pin her down, it’ll never happen. She is the type that needs to fly and she will, with or without you. With the right combination and love, if you let her go, she’ll more than likely come back to you. She’ll make anything happen. She doesn’t believe in ‘can’t’. It’s not in her dictionary. She is incorrigible. She is irrepressible and this makes Gemini woman quite irresistible.





Really??????????
Apparently I need to burn 1280 calories a day to reach my goal weight within the next 2 months. That means 1 hour of running (making 10 minute miles), 1 hour of biking, and 2 hours of walking. I wish I could do that. That's not so bad except I would have to do that every day and say goodbye to my social life. Which is fine. I found out I have "Social Phobia" or "Social Anxiety Disorder." It developed from marijuana I guess. Fuck it. I won't get swine flu at least. Or...I guess I'm immune to it now but I don't wan to take the chance.

My sister had a strange sort of freak out today and broke a glass table with her hand and then walked around out front screaming with bloody hands. It was all accidental and it was me that made her angry in the first place. We had to have a talk about "growing up" because she said she can't stand change, that she's scared of being thrown "into the real world." A lot of people have been telling her to grow up lately, I guess. It hasn't been just me. So we talked for a while and it was nice. I just hope she remembers.

Went to San Jose on Friday and met up with Drew and his friend Wayne, and Waynes GORGEOUS roommate Scotty who looks like he fell out of the 90's grunge scene. Saturday we worked on covering up and fixing some of my tattoos all day long. My arm was SUPER swollen and I got light headed for a while from not eating and from pain. Drew hadn't eaten all day long either. Next day we decided to head to San Francisco. Bought 3 bottles of cheap wine and got wasted with Scotty. Went to some party nearby where I saw someone who used to go to Castro Valley High School. It was nice. Awkward for some reason. Then the cops showed up when some "punk" band was playing. We left and continued getting drunk but got tired and that was that. Woke up this morning and headed for Vallejo. Mom picked me up at the bus stop and we decided I should ditch my first day at the tattoo shop and never show up again. Man, I feel bad about it. Whatever. I don't want to be near tattoo shops. Drew can finish all mine anyway.



Session 1 of tattoo covering. Almost everything I have is getting covered, but in this one we laid down 1 rose (not complete) and did a little bit of work on my hand. Improvement! Still looksl ike shit but hey!

I hate that people latch on to me. I hate that most people are vampires and don't even realize or pay attention to the fact that they are draining other people's energy. At the same time, I need to have a stronger wall, but I am tired of having any kind of wall up. I want pure freedom but no one else wants it. They want consistancy. I want chaos. They want order. I want to return to a natural state. They want to stay on Earth. I am always only trying to get higher, don't you see? Just because you want to stay close to the ground does not mean that you need to keep your friends and loved ones here with you...or wait, what am I to them? I don't appreciate leaches or people who refuse to accept the fact that life can always be better and it starts within themselves and the way they look at things and the memories they have attached to things. Memories of me are bad and good, and now, what kind of memories of yourself are you creating for me? Let me be higher. I am not trying to drag you there with me anymore. That is only fair. But it is only natural to be around something so pure and be affected by it. It is only natural. I have only love for all things in life and I wish...I wish I could have every last thing I wanted. But I have changed as the world has changed, and society had programmed you differently than the world has tried to.

Again wallowing and wading in a sea between here and
nowhere. Boats sail by and I mistake them for sharks,
I am light headed, have been rearranging waves for so long that
I forgot to eat. The stork stole Neptune's job and
all that is left for my giving heart
are the babies that nobody wanted. All I ever wanted
was to please you. Never felt I did. Never felt I could.
Now I cannot even please myself, but I feast.
Oh no it doesn't make sense to me.
I think it's time to go home, it's time to put boards
over the windows, get me out of my seat.
Why I swallow your milk when it's curled, I do,
but there are no words in the book that I sent you
and you wouldn't read it anyway as soon as
you knew it was from me.
Judge the cover, judge the cover, get sick.
They were already green but they got bigger, my eyes,
and filled with water, the kind you poke fun at.
Don't you miss the trees? Because I miss you.
Skin is see-through, see?
I don't want to talk to you, just make love
one more time. One more time I watch giraffes walk by.
No, they don't make sense to me.
The lights came on and there stood four pink bubbles
with open arms, the kind you can't say yes to.
Then my throat got backed up, and I tried to say yes,
to get you to say yes...I'm still trying but
there are no words in the letter I sent you
because you never got it.
Then the stars floated by and the gutters sent them
down, down, down, where you collected them at sunrise
and beat the horse I so desired.
A rash! Your hooves walking are the most unique
of all mating calls, of all telegrams, of all
of the new age.
Old age just won't make sense to me, so spread your feathers now
and dive. I wrote to say- nevermind.
I caught wind of some planets passing by, slammed me
to a tree where to Shawnee came to tie me down, and let the
ants have my naked legs. I kicked and I spit and the
tree bore fruit that hung in front of my face, the
sweetest gift to awake to. Yodel, you devil,
keep yodeling. Sing, you queer queen bee, keep singing!
Songs of my skin changing and how I am the only one on this
planet Earth who does not age. The niche in your back,
there was the fountain. The stork wanted us, but instead he got
me.
So I am writing to say that I have eaten myself.
I am almost done now, and still nothing makes sense to me.
Relativity? This most powerful currency, rarely accepted,
you take only from THAT pot? You give only to THAT bank?
I won't dream anymore without...well, that part wouldn't make
sense to you.

I just healed my soul by remembering this song.

When the Winter comes, I want to go South.

When it leaves, I want to be in California.

I would like to have enough money to constantly be on the move.
I like to explore. I like to ...recall.
Recalling where I was exactly one year ago, and each year, to be back there again.
I would like to frequent the grounds on which I have been, over and over.

Though...I will have to simply enjoy this Bay Area Winter.